Change the World by Changing how we Parent our Children: Parenting first, friendship second….
By: Caryn Fennell
Managing Attorney Caryn S. Fennell, P.C.
A Family Law Firm in North Metro Atlanta.
This is unconscionable, but it is also the unfortunate result of modern day parenting where mothers and fathers are more concerned with being friends to their children, than with being a parent. As a Family Law attorney, far too often I see the entitlement theory squarely at work among the youth of America. As I recall, this started twenty years ago when it was no longer acceptable to challenge children with lessons of respecting authority, losing gracefully, sportsmanship, hard work, appreciation, true accountability and frequent use of the words “thank” and “you.” Instead, we are now culturally infused with the outcome of friend to child relationship instead of the parent to children relationship. The parent to child culture embraces the paradigm where discipline and accountability is taboo and spoliation is en vogue. We have created entitled youth and common courtesy evaporating as the generations evolve. This shift from parent to friend has given us neighborhoods full of youth who genuinely believe they are the center of the universe and expect or demand the fruits of the labor, without the labor. This parent shift has eroded the faith of community leaders, employers, school administrators and others who interact with these generations of youth. Something has to change, starting with the parent / child relationship.
I was raised with a healthy fear for disrespecting my elders, and a wealth of appreciation. Thoughts of dishonoring my family never entered my mind. Hard work was without question and my expectations for promotions, raises and advancement at work was commensurate with my effort and performance. This was because my moms and my dad were laser focused on being my parents first and friends second. I subscribe to the “traditional” values of child rearing, with clearly defined parent / child roles and responsibilities. This has nothing to do with religion, politics or endorsing a “stay at home” parent philosophy. It has to do with what works. What works is a parent acting like a parent and expecting children to engage with them as respectful, honest, courteous and hard working youth. What works is my parent’s child rearing program where they consistently provided love, courtesy, structure, discipline, consistency, respect, and accountability. While we were given nothing except the necessaries, we wanted for nothing, most importantly, our “parents.” We earned our rewards and privileges, which is the gargantuan difference between being raised in the 70’s and 80’s versus in the 90’s and 2000’s. We need a global parenting 180, with a focus on instilling a healthy respect for honesty, hard work, love, grace, courtesy and accountability.
If we want to change the world, we needs to change the way we parent the world.
Mom loses 5 kids over sex party with daughter’s friends:
Reposted from USA Today,
“A 35-year-old Georgia mother has lost custody of her five children after being arrested for allegedly hosting a party for her teenage daughter and partaking of booze, pot, sex, a hot tub and naked Twister.
Rachel Lehnardt was charged with two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor for the party at her home in Evans, an Augusta suburb. She was arrested Monday after her new Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor alerted the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office on Saturday following a meeting with Lehnardt, according to the investigation report.
The sponsor said Lehnardt, who is divorcing her husband, an Iraq war veteran, told her she had lost custody of the children — ages 4, 6, 8, 10 and 16 — at an emergency hearing April 6 after he learned about the recent party. The sheriff’s report did not indicate when it occurred.
The children were with their father one night when the 16-year-old daughter texted her mother to ask if she and some friends could come over “to party,” according to the sponsor’s account.
“Come on, let’s party,” Lehnardt replied.
The teens drank alcohol and smoked marijuana, Lehnardt said she joined them playing naked Twister, her sponsor told investigators. She then had sex in the bathroom with an 18-year-old boy, the report said.
The sponsor said Lenhardt later recounted waking up at 3:30 a.m. to discover her daughter’s 16-year-old boyfriend having sex with her.
He is not facing charges because “there is no evidence of rape” because Lehnardt “refuses to discuss the case,” Capt. Steve Morris told the New York Daily News.
Lehnardt, who works in an Augusta bridal shop, had been attending a sexual-addiction workshop at her local Mormon church, the sponsor added.
She was released after posting a $3,200 bond.”